Here are some ideas on how to still be a Good Girl and Finish First!

#1 REDEFINE your “Good Girl”

We must redefine “Good Girl” in our minds. I grew up as a Type A “Good Girl” who believed that doing my best was the LEAST I should do. You want me to play sports? Okay how many? And how many starting positions can I get? This project is due on Monday? How about I turn it in on Friday to exceed your expectations? You want me to work 20 hours for an internship? Would you be okay if I worked 40? Instead of asking others what they want, we need to ask for what WE WANT and then GO FOR IT!

#2 Unmasking the SUCCESS Myth

If there’s one thing that women deserve and demand, its honesty. We’ve had too many years of buying into the success myths. We have perpetuated them ourselves. We keep up the secret handshake that says “It’s inappropriate to get this far and then say, ‘enough’”. But IT IS TIME for an alternative story to be told.  Define your OWN SUCCESS. Have you ever gotten to a goal and it wasn’t as “great” as you had hoped it’d be? Maybe it was the wrong goal. What does your finish line look like? What does your first place finish represent? DEFINE your own SUCCESS!

#3 Deliver your plan with CLARITY

You must communicate clearly and effectively to be successful. “Are we there yet?” How do we know if we have arrived, if we have not clearly outlined where “there” is. One of the issues we have in business environments (personal ones too but that is a different blog) is the way in which women and men differ in their communication style. Unfortunately, the detailed reporting style of women is often seen as “babbling”.  Write it down! The day before a big meeting when you need to communicate with clarity…WRITE it DOWN. Plan out what you are going to say. Say it to yourself while looking in a mirror. Ask your neighbor, who knows nothing about your business, to listen to you and see if they understand what you are saying. If they get it, most likely your audience will to. KEEP it CLEAR and CONSISE.

#4  Know the Rules – BEFORE YOU START THE GAME.

I have thought about this one for so many years. Would we EVER go play a round of golf and not know the rules? I remember getting a new board game for Christmas as a child. Everyone sits there with anticipation as the parents read the rules explaining how to play. Interesting thing is, we always read the rules BEFORE we started playing. If you think there are not “rules” in the business world, I want to come live in that fantasy world with you! Every company has them, no matter what size. In one organization I worked, women were expected to dress like the men. It took me years to realize that this was an unwritten, but never the less an expected “RULE”.  Men even had a uniform for success. Sometimes, this is known as the culture of an organization. Learn the culture of your organization… those are the unwritten RULES.

#5 Remember IT IS JUST A GAME

If you follow step #1 and define your own success then you are doing better than I did in the beginning and you will not have the same problem I faced earlier in my career. As my wisdom increases I have learned that IT IS INDEED just a GAME.  I am not saying it is not an important game, our families depend on us for their livelihood, we would like to have our kids attend college, maybe a vacation or two every year and the ultimate dream of retirement. But if you think about business as a game, it really is. We have a game plan to execute, we go out and work really hard to get others to buy our goods or services, and we have a goal in mind. Sometimes I win and sometimes I lose. And just because I won today, does not guarantee I will win tomorrow. I have to keep playing the game. Welcome to the business world.

#6 Build Allies

Finally, one category I believe women have the upper hand from the outset. We are natural connectors. Take the time to strategically think about your ideas, put together your plan, do your homework and then find your allies. I don’t think anyone can dispute the fact that there is power in numbers. After you have the support of your “team” then you can take your plan and present it to the appropriate person for the corporate buy in. If you are going into a meeting to present an internal proposal and you do not know for a fact that you have supporters in the audience… RESCHEDULE the MEETING until you do! That’s the way you play the game!

#7 Be A Leader

You don’t have to have a title to be a leader.  Leadership is not about being a bully. It is not about being the loudest “clown” at happy hour. It is all about CHARACTER coupled with a clear focus…what is best for our organization, and how do I get my team to support our mission! Leaders have inner strength and direction for both themselves and their team. Character Leaders value their people and instill hope in their organizations. True leaders provide selfless service to the organization and her people.  If you have character AND authority – watch out world!

#8 Don’t Let it Define Who You ARE

Another lesson I have learned from my mistakes. Over the years, I allowed my career successes and failures to define who I am. I managed my life around my job and now I aspire to manage my job around my life.

#9 LISTEN

Listen with both ears AND YOUR HEART! We have been told for years as women to separate our heads and our hearts. I would argue that it is simply NOT possible. The Secretary of Defense during the Vietnam War was Robert McNamara and years later on his death bed he said one of his regrets was making his decisions all based on his head and not his heart. I believe this is a unique advantage that women have over men. We are natural listeners and we make decisions based on both our head and our heart.   The beautiful thing about having women as your customer or in your organization is that they will tell you what you need to do to succeed. You just have to ask them the right questions and listen with both ears an open mind and heart.

#10 ACT on IT

How many times have you been in a meeting and someone said what you were thinking? You would be amazed how many people see their ideas realized by others because they simply did not ACT on it.  I was attending a sales meeting early in my career and I was sitting there listening to the conversation and had a suggestion in my mind. As I sat there and debated the voice in my head on whether I should speak up or not, one of my teammates suggested my idea. Our CEO was impressed with his input and asked him to stop by his office later for a conversation. WHY DIDN’T I ACT? Now, if you have a suggestion and you speak up – WHATEVER you do — you must follow through to completion. All creditability will be lost if you don’t execute with resolve.

#11 Be a Mentor

Don’t ever be afraid to find someone and teach them by example. As a leader you will go to the highest level only if you can begin to develop leaders instead of followers.  The role of the mentor is vital to the success of an organization. It develops an atmosphere of inclusiveness and personally it is very satisfying to see your “people” become successful.  Can you imagine early in your career if you would have had someone that took you by the hand and really guided you through the shark infested waters? Be someone’s guide!

#12 Share the Decision Making

Every decision provides a learning opportunity. I would rather have someone on the team that makes a wrong decision than someone that won’t make a decision at all. When you allow for input in the decision making process you are creating buy in from your people. Effective participation requires people to release control and allow for a collaborative, inclusive environment. Sharing in the decision making process allows others on the team to take responsibility.

#13 Empower Others

Once you know how to empower people, how to motivate and inspire them, they will want to work with you to help you achieve your goals in everything you do. Your ability to enlist the knowledge, energy and resources of others enables you to become a multiplication sign, to leverage yourself so that you accomplish far more than the average person and in a far shorter period of time. It feels GREAT when you help others see how GREAT they are.

#14 Encourage Ideas from ALL

I heard a story earlier this year about a lady that sits on a local board of directors and suggested a new policy for stay at home moms. She was the only woman on the local non-profit board. All the men on the board, thought this was a great suggestion and voted in favor of her idea. It wasn’t that the men were anti “stay at home moms” quite the opposite actually, they just never had that particular point of reference. As successful good girls we should encourage ALL employees at all levels to be involved in idea generation. You never know where the next best idea is going to come from. Keep an open mind and encourage everyone in your organization to ask “What if”.

#15 Have a SOLID strategy

When I typed #15 I could hear my dad’s voice in my head, “measure twice, cut once”, “build the plan, work the plan”. I know this sounds way too simple, but the wiser I become the simpler everything seems. What is your strategy? Define it. Why is that the strategy? Test it. How do you get there? Do it.   It really is that easy. Setting the strategy is important and should require input from a lot of people in your organization. Confirming the strategy is the “right thing” requires buy in from all stake holders in the company.  Once the first two things have been nailed, it is simply time to execute.  Never be afraid to redefine your strategy in the middle…Remember Lipton Soup started out as a cheese company.

#16 Always do the RIGHT thing

I must admit that I have NOT always done the “right thing”. And never, not even once did I feel good about it. Sometimes we tell ourselves “no one will ever know”, “nobody will get hurt”, “the company owes me this”. Whatever rationalization and lie we tell our selves, doing the wrong thing NEVER feels good because you cannot run from yourself. Even when the “right thing” is NOT in your own best interest…DO IT ANYWAY. I remember a phone conversation with my bosses boss one time and I suggested a solution that was not in my own best interest, but it was right for the company. He was blown away and to this day we have a great relationship because he knows that I will do the RIGHT thing for the company!

#17 Determination

Some people say that determination is the SINGLE most important predictor of success. At first glance it might appear to be intelligence. However, I cannot think of any successful person that had sheer brain power and no determination.  There are plenty of people as smart as Bill Gates who achieve nothing.
I have one child with a learning disorder and another child that tests off the IQ charts. However, both are on the A – B Honor Roll at school.  Intelligence v. Determination. One is a natural gift, the other is a proactive choice. Be Determined to Succeed, that is half the battle!

#18 Be Confident

In order to be confident in something you must believe it in your gut 100% beyond a shadow of a doubt. Practice leads to confidence and success builds confidence. Have you ever heard the term “she exudes confidence?” I often wonder about people that “exude” confidence. Do they really? And I wonder which came first, exuding confidence or really having it? If I had the answer for how to “BE CONFIDENT” in 5 easy steps, I would be a gazillionaire and I wouldn’t be writing this report. However, I do know this about being confident. As women especially, confidence first starts with your belief in YOU. Often times we are our own worst critics. Find 5 friends to tell you how they see you. It will be a first step in building your confidence in yourself. I did this exercise with a group of co-workers in the early 90’s and the feedback was, “Wow, I sure wish I saw myself the way others see me.” Who knows, you just might be the woman that “exudes confidence”!

#19 Don’t Quit

We “good girls” have lied to ourselves for far too long. We have been trained to think of success in one very narrow way. I encourage you to look in the mirror, define YOUR success, set your strategy and DO NOT QUIT! Rest if you must, and you will need to take time to rest… but get back up and don’t give up on yourself. Goethe said, “Difficulties increase the nearer we get to our goal.” Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than the things you actually did. Hang in there and cross that finish line!

What are the most important goals in your life? Rate the following with 1 being the most important and 10 being the least.

Getting a promotion
Making money
Having a family
Traveling
Building friendships
Community work
Finding a hobby
Fill in your own blank…………….

Now make a plan on how to achieve your goals. What is it going to take for you to make the “1’s” happen? Map it out and then just go do it!

See you at the Finish Line!

Those words burn in my heart. I constantly wonder…what if???  What if the brave women at Seneca Falls were afraid to stand up?  Where would I be today?  I would like to take you back in time.

On August 18^th 1920, the nineteenth amendment was ratified, granting women the right to vote.  Charlotte Woodward was the only women who had attended Seneca Falls convention and signed the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848 and was still alive to exercise her right to vote.  She was 90 years of age and vowed “if they have to take me to vote on a stretcher I will be there!”

I personally admire the drive and determination that Susan B Anthony possessed and the eloquence of Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Lucy Stone and Julia Ward were ahead of their time.  It took courage for Fredrick Douglas to stand steadfastly with us women as other men turned away.

The right to vote?  Many women of that day thought it was taking it too far. Some women spoke up, saying “Why, that would be a grievous affront to our fathers and husbands, “and pushing for the right to vote will start a war between the sexes and we as women will lose.”

The debate between those that believed this was a God given right and those that opposed us got very mean spirited. Elizabeth Cady Stanton would not back down: She held her ground and argued feverishly for women’s right to vote.

Sometimes I fear, things are not a lot different from 1920. Women are still divided on basic issues. In the words of my business partner Robin Ford “As women, more unites us than divides us.”  I wonder some days why can’t we stand together, regardless of race, party affiliations and religion.

Women still fear asking for basic equality.  For so many, the 18% leadership position we hold across all sectors is fine.  The White House Project It’s acceptable, its what we have earned, its what we should expect.  REALLY??? Not on my watch!

Project 19 women, myself and Robin, Carol Thompson and countless many other women  fight the good fight everyday. We are the women of Seneca Falls.

We know we may never see equality in our lifetime. After all, Susan B Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton never even got the right to vote after a 26 battle. They died without casting that ballot.

I can’t do that.  God knows I have taken some bullets for what I have said and what I believe.  But I will tell you this. I built a 500 million dollar company, worked full time, have been married to the same man for 22 years and would rather judge myself than others.  It’s easy to sit on a thrown of judgment and never really give back to society.  That’s what we are fighting as women…it’s the judgment of our peers. So many of those women the only thing they do is judge. It’s very sad, but it’s reality.

Project 19 will make a historic journey to Washington D.C on August 18, 2010 to commemorate the 90th anniversary of the 19 the amendment. Every women is invited, Republican, Democrat, black, white, stay at home mom or career woman. This day that will be a great equalizer. You see ,this is the day that we were granted the right to choose! I look forward to standing on the United States Capital steps with my friends, my sisters, my elected officials, my fellow women advocates, and celebrating the brave women of Seneca Falls.

Will you join us?  Project 19 Foundation

I would be remiss not to mention my amazing girlfriends prior to Project 19. I have known for a couple of years, I would write a book about the Project 19 Mission, the 19-city tour and all of experiences Robin and I shared along the way.

I have now decided that I am going to write about other women’s successes and struggles called the “Pink Diaries.” My heart is to share these women with you to encourage you to reach for the stars. The one thing I know for sure is that each one of these women puts their pantyhose on one leg at a time.  If they can do it, so can we!

I want to start with the story of my business partner and dear friend Robin Ford.

This woman inspires me at every level. She is a single mother of four children, works for Dell, Inc. as a Global Alliance Manager and the Project 19 co-founder.

She’s an overachiever, that is passionate about advancing women/girls in Leadership roles. When she was in high school, she thought her path would take her down a political road. She has been tremendously successful in corporate America. That is impressive considering she juggles working in Washington DC 3 days a week, attends ALL of her THREE son’s basketball and baseball games, and cooks dinner every evening she is home!  However, we can chalk all of that up to being extremely organized and driven. (Still I am exhausted just writing about it!)

I want to share with you about the Robin I love and adore. I love her unbridled passion and determination to make this world a better place. Several years ago she started a birthday party business My Party Palace. She was 6 months pregnant with child number three. She had a vision that she would host parties for young girls that would teach self- esteem. She wrote an oath that each girl would recite before each birthday party about being worthy of love and respect. Typical Robin style, she turned it into a successful franchise.  I have seen her when she is exhausted and beat down go that extra mile to help someone else. She is always the first to “donate” her time, talent, and treasures. That is what makes her amazing! She is one of the most loyal friends I have ever had. In fact, if I was at war I could not think of another person I would want to “cover my back.” Robin’s all time favorite saying is “As women, more unites us than divides us.”

The things we can all learn from Robin:

1)    Passion - You have to do what you love and love what you do. Never give up and nothing is impossible.

2)    Patience - Image a single Mom with 4 children (two of them being under two.) We must be patient not only with others but also with ourselves. As women, we are our own worst enemy’s. We must step back and breathe.

3)    Persistence – Robin NEVER gives up! She has survived abuse, and poverty, divorce and Corporate America. She has never used any of it as a crutch or an excuse. What is holding you back? What is it that is keeping you from persisting in life?

4)    Polish - Doesn’t matter were I see Robin, she has her act together. As women, we are SO judgmental of each other. We must learn to come together to encourage each other to be the best we can be.

My favorite Chinese proverb sums it up:

“Those who say it can’t be done should not interrupt the person doing it”

If Robin was 2000 plus years old, I would say Confucius wrote this one with her in mind!

Whether they were Republican or Democrat, I saw one common denominator.  PASSION! Even though we could not agree on every issue, we fundamentally agreed that women were under-served in every sector.

I want to talk about the three “P”s that I believe every women must have to be successful.

Passion

Webster’s defines Passion as:

• a strong feeling or emotion
• rage: something that is desired intensely
• mania; an irrational but irresistible motive for a belief or action

No wonder that people think people that are “passionate” about a belief or a cause are “crazy” by definition we are!  As women, it is hard to contain that natural passion sometimes.  Whether we are on the campaign trail, helping our children, or arguing our point with a friend or spouse.  To be successful, we must master the rest of the “P’s”

Polish

Webster’s defines Polish as:

• a highly developed state of perfection; having a flawless or impeccable quality
• improve or perfect by pruning or polishing
• bring to a highly developed, finished, or refined state

A very dear friend of mine, Jan Goss, Founder of  the Austin School Of Protocol, has made it her mission to restore respect, create confidence in business people and cultivate civility in the marketplace.  Jan believes that the economic stimulus package for this country is simple: “Just outclass your competition!” How we treat other people directly affects the bottom line of our business.

I could not agree more.  As women, business owners and leaders, we must shine.  We must hone our people skills to perfection!

Purpose

Webster’s defines Purpose as:

• an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions
• function: what something is used for
• reach a decision
• determination: the quality of being determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose.

When I look at purpose, I think that is the universal question: “Why am I here?  What is my purpose in life?”

Amy Dillon, Founder of Souled Out Ministries asked herself the very same question  two years ago.  As she lay in a hospital bed paralyzed with little hope for full function again, she knew her purpose was to take her story and encourage others.

I am happy to say from that tragedy a ministry was born. Amy is a very successful professional speaker. Her keynote is “What paralyzes you?”  She encourages women from all over the Nation that not even the “ultimate paralysis“ should hold you back from realizing your purpose in life!

What women, what stories!  I think about the legacy’s they are building and the lives they are changing. How blessed I am to have them pouring into my life.

My Challenge To You

1)  Find your PASSION. What is it you want to do with the rest of your life?
2)  POLISH UP! Competition is fierce! Learn how to outclass the completion, not destroy it!  The world might be a nicer place!
3)  Find your PURPOSE. The women I have told you about know their purpose!  They live it everyday and walk it out in public.  Sometimes that is hard.  I know first hand.

We have taken a lot of heat about the Project 19 mission.  “Advancing women in leadership roles.” Robin Ford and I both stand strong with our mission and purpose.

I pray each of you reading this blog will find that one thing that burns in your soul, keeps you motivated even on the tough days, and inspires you to be all that God has intended for you!

“A diamond is merely a lump of coal until put under pressure.”

My friend and founder of The White House Project, Marie Wilson, was just named one of the “10 women to watch in 2010“.  What an honor! Marie has had an incredible life and career.  She founded the “Take Your Daughter To Work Day” program, The White House Project and has the ear of the most powerful women in the Nation. Her message is strong, and her resolve to see women in the white house is UNwavering.  She is a personal hero of mine!

What is the most shocking to me is who made this nomination.  None other than Barbie herself!  Let me explain.  Mattel has launched a campaign to celebrate the 125-year anniversary of Barbie (Wow, she still looks pretty good!)  Part of this monumental campaign is to decide what Barbie’s next career is going to be.  You can VOTE HERE yourself!

Now, when I grew up I had more Barbies than most girls; I love Barbie.  I fundamentally understand the reason for this campaign. I have to wonder, does  Barbie have more appeal to young girls than the Lindsey Lohan? I  hope so!  Barbie has staying power,  Barbie has a job, Barbie has never been to rehab and Barbie only has one boyfriend!

I called a friend of mine to tell her about the “Barbie campaign” and to encourage her to vote. She asked me” Are you just a little jealous that Barbie didn’t think  YOU were one of the 10 women to watch in 2010?”  We had a good laugh,  then tried to figure out who in today’s world of reality TV and pop culture could be a better role model for young women.(For the record I would have given my first very valuable, vintage  Barbie and pink Barbie corvette to make the list). Sad to say from a celebrity stand point we could not think of any.  I truly admire the amazing women who have earned to right to be called the” top 10 women to watch in 2010″.  I am telling the story to keep it at the forefront of our minds that as women, we still have a long way to go. We must be constantly looking for role models that can uphold the values that we want to instill in our young women.

The White House project recently released a landmark project.  For more information on the report, CLICK HERE. I encourage you to read it.  I have spent hours studying it. In fact, it inspired the tour for Project 19 Foundation.

As women, we need to have a voice.  A REAL VOICE…not a dolls voice.

Today, we are nowhere near where we need to be, in terms of representation in leadership positions.  In fact, we are even losing ground in some sectors.  Even though the public is ready and women are trained, educated, and prepared to lead, women are still vastly under-represented in all sectors.

My Message Today…

In choosing which goods or services to purchase, look through a gender lens which considers the representation of women, women on boards and in top leadership. Women and men have a great deal of financial power that can be used to encourage the achievement of a critical mass of women in leadership positions across all sectors of the economy. I wonder how many women leaders are working for Mattel? That may be another blog!  We must leverage the fact that women influence 85% of all purchases in this nation.  Let us use our hard-earned dollars, not just to stimulate the economy but also to be a voice within in these companies that we expect equality in their corporate leadership, excellence in service and a true corporate commitment to help in advance women in general.

In case you are wondering… Yes, I voted on Barbie’s next career.  Yes, I still love Barbie and am in awe of her beauty after 125 years.  I hold the words of my friend Marie Wilson very close to my heart and made it my life’s mission:

“When we add women, we really can change everything.”

Purchases by women now total more than 3 trillion annually . That is more than the GNP of England and Japan combined.  She is the CPO (Chief Purchasing Officer) of her household.  This accounts for 85% of all consumer expenditures.  Reaching out to women should be a top priority for businesses.

If you’ve been paying attention lately, some companies are marketing to women very effectively, while others are not.

The mistake you can make marketing to Women:

“Thinking women are a ‘niche’.

Reality: Women are the primary customers in the US.

Women represent an economic powerhouse, making 85% of the consumer purchases and influencing over 95% of total goods and services. Women also purchase 50% or better in traditional “male” categories like automobile, consumer electronics, and PC’s.

Tip: Develop a visual image to represent how many dollars women consumers spend in your industry. This exercise should help your whole marketing or product development team to “get it” so they join wholeheartedly into the effort.

How: If your business generates 100 million a year and women purchase and/or influence 80% of all your goods and services, women are an $80 million factor in your business. Work the numbers into a visual comparison to give you and your team a clear and dramatic, picture of the role women play in your current success and future growth.”  Inc. Magazine

I firmly believe that with the power of the purse we can once again stimulate our economy.

Companies don’t need government hand outs, we need to invest in human capital. We need to get back to the basics when it comes to training our sales and service professionals. We know that when we meet the expectations of women we exceed those of men.

WomenCertified® truly believes that women are the economic stimulus package of the United States!

Check out out web site and get yourself or your business Women Certified today!

1. What do women business owners most like about our offerings?
2. What do they least like? (What aggravates them, wastes their time, seems unnecessary to them? What modifications can be made to overcome these issues?)
3. Do our sales and marketing materials portray women business owners’needs? Do our language, images and concepts indicate that we respect them?
4. How are our competitors marketing and selling to women business owners? In what ways are they ahead of us?
5. How would our company be different if it were run by a woman?

At WomenCertified® we are passionate about raising the bar on customer service through interactive training and world class certification programs that enhance the customer experience.